There is a major bridge most of us have to cross as young people, it is longer for ladies, especially the way the society has conditioned it to be- the bridge is marriage. I am not here to debate whether marriage is an achievement or not, or whether it is even necessary at all, so save the hammer, I am not here for you, this piece is for those who really look forward to getting married, now that we have settled this, let me proceed..
The drive for a University degree may have helped push the burden further for a lot of young people to a longer period, if your family thinks having a first degree is a major requirement for getting married, good for you. However, while this is there, do not get carried away, if by the time you will graduate from the University as a lady, you will already be looking at 25–27 and upwards, and if for the guy too, you will be kissing 30, you need a major marriage strategy while at the university.
Let me help offer my input towards crafting this strategy. However, before we proceed, I should let you know that I will be sharing based on my undergraduate experience at the Obafemi Awolowo University (OAU). You do not have to worry anyway, the experience is same across all campuses in the country. So let’s go
So I did a mathematical analysis of OAU grads who got married in the last 5years, and I found a striking thing. Unlike what you would naturally expect, most of the married were the fellowship brothers and sisters of those periods, not the campus guys and babes who threw their relationships at our faces.
So I had to look for reasons that made this happen.
· I think fellowship sis/bro have more honest relationships. I said more, dishonesty too dey o, but comparatively, it is safer. Most fellowship people do not start their relationships from a trial perspective, the objective from the start is to marry, not to try out
· Fellowship sisters do not place demands, even if they want to, the things they said in the University (it is double blessing for you bro if she attended ECU-OAU) have already put a lot of constraints on them, before people start thinking dey don backslide. If God decides to bless you, he gives you a sister coordinator who had advised a lot of fellowship ladies not to be a burden on their partners but rather be a support system.
· Most fellowship Brothers do not care about Christian Louboutin shoes. They can not be Ebuka, they do not even see the reason to be one. They do not see anything wrong in wearing a pink tie on a yellow trouser, afterall the most important thing is the soul na. . The sisters likewise too do not care about Burberry nor Hermes. Just get those pleating skirts and black cover shoes for them. Don’t worry about the hats too, sister Funke is sister mary’s friend, she makes hats. You see, your problems are solved already.
· Every session there are brothers and sisters week. Some brothers and sisters belong to five group which means they had to listen to speakers on relationship issues five times every session. They have been over sensitized. The ladies have been told not to marry for money that rather, they should look for someone to build a life with. Well to an extent, they care about your vision and not your television- when you consider the current economic situation in the country, isn’t this victory for fellowship brothers?
· The sisters have also been told to be virtuous and not care about the things of this world. Oh, they have been told that what is important is not the wedding day, rather, it is marriage itself that they should worry about. So when they want to marry, they may even offer to get aunty Funmi to make their wedding gowns, Sister Juliet bakes cakes and small chops, Sister Agnes does decoration, then they use their dad’s compound for engagement, then use their church for reception. Dear brother if this is your plan, you have your prayers answered already, the sisters can understand
· We all know you are likely to move to Lagos after BSc, abi where else do you want to go? Anyway, the sisters do not mind if the brother’s self-con is at Ewekoro, they are faithful wives, they will be waking up at 4am to make Lagos. You see, the problem of rent which is a major reason why a lot of people do not marry early has been solved
· For sisters who really desire to marry early, here is the good news, fellowship brothers mostly want to marry early. They always think it is the next thing after graduation, besides, most of these weddings are low budget, priority is marriage.
I think there are more reasons why most fellowship relationships have ended in marriage, I have just stated my own.
So I heard JAMB form is out, I know some ladies are in 100level sef. If you are a lady and you know by the time you graduate your mother may have packed your clothes at the entrance for you to marry by force, here is my advice.
Do not go to University and be slaying o, statistics does not favour early marriage from that angle, join a fellowship and become a fellowship sister. To help your hustle, these are fellowships I will recommend: CACSA, TACSFON, CACYOF, ECU, BSF, RCF (Please join evangelism sha and Mision Outreach unit), do not try Believers Loveworld, I repeat do not try Believers Loveworld, they are good o, but do not forget about our objective, most of the people there are young and “slayers” o, they may not really want to marry immediately after school- so be guided
Attend all meetings (Bible Study and prayer Meeting), be visible. Do not miss retreats, I repeat, do not retreats. That is when brothers notice sisters in the spirit. Do not hang around those “scabashing” young brothers o, they are good, but they will not marry early. Look for overly mature brothers who token their shirts and wear ties even when the sun is at 100degrees. Do not worry about the quality of the shirts, remember, you are placing a bet on the future.
Follow these rules and I can assure you, you will marry within 1–3years after graduation. (Well I did not factor in village people in this analysis o)
God will reward me for this good work, Amen.