So I got married – The Wedding and the Boys Who Wanted to Bring a Hotel Down (Part Two)

I think it is key that people establish a few things when they want to plan their wedding, things like what they want, and check if those things are possible given available means. I think this is important because there is so much noise about weddings these days, everybody seems to know how best to plan for it, they seem to forget it is just the bride and groom who don’t get another chance, they are the people who really need to be happy, and that every wedding is unique because every couple is different.

king and Queen

 People tell you to use your sitting room for your wedding and use the balance to buy land if you are intelligent. This is good if the couple are honestly happy to do that, and not a situation where at every wedding, the wife will remember how much she would have wanted but didn’t do. The truth is whether you have five people at your wedding or a thousand people, by night, the wedding is over, and you are married.  So really, it is not about the size, it is if the bride and groom are happy, at least nobody prays to have another chance, so why not have as much fun as you can at your only chance.

I also think the real enemy we all need to fight is poverty. Who says you can’t have a modest wedding, or a very big one if the available income can accommodate it and buy land as well? Better sef, buy a house after- It is our income we should pray that God expands

I left Abuja for Lagos a week to the wedding, and if you are getting married to a lady like my wife, you can be sure she would have arranged a couple of visits to Eko market just because she would want you to have a feel of the stress she went through while you were “enjoying” in Abuja. Omotola can bear witness to my frequent Eko market visits and how I promised never to go there again, till her next phone call, and mahn, off to Eko market again. She enjoyed this part, she really did, at every point she would say –

“Lanre, shey o ti re e ni?, ibi ti a si ma lo po o” then she would give her wicked smile.

In my mind I would be praying silently to God that she would at least get tired too, but nope, getting tired was far from her.

Awon Slayonces

I had a few things planned for the wedding, like making sure I did not forget the day was Valentines day, even if it was same as our engagement day. I had a plug for that with a specific instruction that it had to be delivered before 8am, yeah, I liked that I did that. And the part I really liked, sending a box of gifts to her at her hotel on the wedding day. Of all the things in the pack, I like the rose, yeah, I like the chocolate too, but I really like my box of ten post cards where each card had a reason why I love her. I like those cards because it gave me more stress. I had two options, to write on ten reasons why I was marrying her or why I love her, I picked the latter, I knew it had to be relatable, it had to pick moments in our journey, it had to be specifically for her

The Box

 I knew I would not be there when she would read, but I wanted her to feel we were having our usual bants, most importantly, I wanted her to laugh, and laugh really hard, before all the madness the day would bring. I achieved both, and she still has the box of cards, the only thing left from the box

Our engagement ceremony was a Friday, but we had a pre engagement photo shoot from 12 noon. Our friends were awesome, everyone took the day off from their busy schedules for us, we can’t just be grateful enough for this. Two of our friends travelled in on Thursday, some with their families on Friday, another had to travel out of the state on Wednesday evening and still made it back to Lagos early enough for the photoshoot.  That was how much our friends gave us their time. They couldn’t see a barrier; they were deliberate about sharing the moment with us

The Marlians

So, we started the pictures, I had to frustrate both the cameraman and videographer as I struggled between which legs to raise first when we were trying to gbe body, and gbese. Eventually, they gave up on me, whatever you saw in the pictures was probably the 10th or 15th attempt, at which period, they had given up on me.

The Gbe Body Period

The engagement was a 4pm gig, the alaga and I had a proper beef to settle, she was the alaga during our introduction ceremony and she drained me. This time, I was going all prepared. During the introduction ceremony, I had only 200naira notes, this time I had 100naira note. During the introduction ceremony, I allowed her to drive me to spend money at every point. During the engagement, the woman knew that I came for her, as my dance poor reach, na so I dey rock am, this time, man had nothing to spray, just dance- Apparently I wasn’t the only one with that decision, even my guys had same.. boys were just dancing, dancing anyhow without dropping money. Well, she had a few moments of genius, like asking us to line up then put money on each corner of the earth one by one to pray for the couple- hahahahahaha, scammer ni mama yen, you just can’t escape.

Na Dem

The engagement ceremony was normal, nothing extra ordinary, like Tope picking a white bible from a set of eru iyawo that had chocolate, isn’t that a lie? Tope would take chocolate over everything, she would tell you she has a bible app on her phone, but hey, engagement is pure acting.  And yes, we are still looking for the person that provided the fireworks when we cut the cake at the engagement, we know we did not pay for it, we were surprised to see it. My bet is on the décor or Ibiyemi

Babalawa

As the engagement was close to the end, wifey dragged my hand, “time to change our clothes” she said. So I followed her, while I followed her, I kept wondering what exactly I would change into, I honestly didn’t know. Okay, I knew we bought a wine material, I knew we made it into agbada, I remember she told me why we made it, but I had forgotten, I had even forgotten about the cloth. My saving grace was that she did not trust me with any of the clothes we used, she kept them with herself. I am still grateful to God that the agbada was with her on that day, I would have been looking like a Zombie

The Outfit I had forgotten about

As night approached, we were all tired, and we needed to sleep to be ready for the main event, but then we had arranged for one apartment within Ikeja GRA, So, guys, let’s go. 

We had like seven cars, all had mostly groomsmen and ladies, and our other friends. So, we arrived at Posh Apartments, Ikeja, only to hear that all the rooms we booked had been given out. We were both shocked and surprised. It just didn’t make sense, even if we had booked on hold, they had no reason to give out the rooms without contacting us, but we did not even book on hold, we paid.

The Posh Apartment that scammed us

So, we stood there while we wait for them to resolve, the issue they had caused themselves, while at the same time, we were thinking of alternatives.  Folks, I want to admonish you like Paul did in the scriptures, do not ever need hotel rooms in Lagos on Valentine’s night, it will end in tears

All the hotels in Ikeja were fully booked. Lagosians, you people can not make heaven, there is no way you can, the level of “to-me-to-you” that goes on in Lagos on Val night is legendary, Argh. So we were forced to move our search from GRA to areas around Ikeja. We were looking for alternatives while at same time, boys were promising posh apartments that they were going to bring down their hotel if they did not provide alternatives.

I looked around at the people promising to bring the hotel down, I saw Omotola, he was spitting fire and brimstone,

 Ayodele Adekile kept making calls, you would think he was speaking with the attorney General of Lagos State,  

Adedayo Bakare was speaking Ondo English, “this is how we let people like this get away, we must not let this stand, let’s lock the whole place up…….”

 Bukunmi Oyeboade, Gbolagun Ezekiel, Moses peter……… Moses Peter was the only believable voice there. I had seen Peter in action before, man na one-man army, but even Peter sef, marriage had taken his swags away, man just wants to make money and be happy now.

See Guys wey wan bring hotel down- Bobo

After a careful analysis of the aluta leaders, I had to pray that God should just let them refund us, these men can not bring anything down, they are just assorted corporate men speaking foreign English- If they change it for us, na all of us go run away

Well they refunded us that night, so our shakara worked for that.  Eventually we got another place at Opebi and retired to bed around 12midnight.

February 15th was great. The day started early, had our photoshoot, then sped to the church. We had been warned by the church’s leadership that the wedding would start whether we arrive early or not, and they kept to their words. They had started before we arrived, but we missed nothing, they were still on the first item on the programme.

had to unveil like a legend

We were still on our way to the reception when we heard the hall was filled already, Argh, filled ke, all the things we did didn’t work ni?

Mrs A
Legends

To control crowd, I made no post on facebook/Instagram about the wedding, wifey always felt if I was left alone, I could fill a 1000 capacity hall without help, I was a major concern for her. So when she heard the hall was filled, she turned to me and said “Lanre”

Fair Enough

Emi omo olomo, mo ya look away.

Steppers

The wedding eventually, was not just our wedding, it became a re union for over six different sets of graduates from the Obafemi Awolowo University.  As much as we tried to hide it, people didn’t get angry. A guy said to me “you thought you could hide your wedding from me, never, I heard and came” See, people were truly happy for us. We all really had fun at the reception.

That Shot

If you had a green cup at the after party, just know tope and I did not provide it— hahahahah, all our cups were red, someone else must have thought the cups had finished and got them.

At the after party, Tope and I kept seeing drinks we did not buy, even expensive drinks, we were just laughing, we later found our LodhLippi and Ogbeni Ore supplied them, nothing would be an excuse for the party not to stay lit.

If you got high, say hi to Lippi and Oreh
❤️

At 8pm, I told the DJ to stop the music as people had refused to leave and we were tired already. The DJ stopped listening to me, as he continued dishing out sound. So I left him, said goodbye to friends and family who were still around, called my wife and our driver, then drove off

All your faves

It may be Temitope and I’s wedding, but, in all honesty, people came for us and they came through indeed

❤️

Thank you

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