So I got married- The Pre-Wedding’s “What Exactly Have You Done” (Part One)

My name is Lanre Daniels Adeoye, and this is my wedding story…     I will do this in three parts:

-The Pre-Wedding’s “What exactly have you done”

-The Wedding and the boys who wanted to bring a hotel down

-The  Proud village Boy

Okay I am not writing a Nollywood script, so time to get serious. I got married February 14th-15th 2020, a Val weekend plus just a week to my birthday, and no I didn’t suggest the date, not sure I am that bothered about dates to pick that perfection, wifey did.

It was easy to pick the date, I was good with any date from December 2019, so whatever date suggested afterwards, was the date for me, no objection. So we agreed and shared with our folks, of course, they were tired of us, or better put, they were tired of me especially.

“Argh, Lanre, finally you want to marry, any date you pick is the date” Hahahaha.

I hear people often have problems deciding on wedding dates, especially getting both families to agree, hian, it is because you guys marry early. Here is the trick, take your time, let them be the ones begging you to marry, pals, whatever date you pick whenever you decide to will be the date, you don’t have to pay  for this gem, I am in the mood to help.

T & L

As days went by, picking the wedding date became one of the few easy things we agreed on as regards the wedding. Wifey and I are different. I was the guy who waits till lecture free week to read for the hardest exams, wifey was the type who plans for how to read for all the courses from the first week of resumption and follows through till the end of the semester.

We picked our wedding date around eight months before the actual date, so we had time, and she made sure we made use of it.

We were both salary earners, we were not going to have a kobo debt, we were going to have fun at the wedding, and we would have zero pressure nor would our lifestyle be altered post wedding, and yeah, we achieved this pretty well

I like this shot

We had a wedding budget and split according to our income, It is important to say this as most times men are praised for wedding expenses while neglecting the contributions of the wife, I won’t tow that time, it would be a lie, we both bled for it. So almost every month, we picked one item out of the wedding bucket, we were so religious about it, and I felt we were both doing it together. I should say I work in Abuja while wifey worked in Lagos. Every time we pooled, the next thing was “Lanre, we paid for the hall today, this is the receipt” I would say weldone, while I stayed in Abuja.

Apart from staying in different cities to plan, I was also very forgetful, while I was following through with the eight months plan, my real disposition to it

Of course, she is the real boss

“the wedding still far, this babe just dey too thorough”

so, we could pay for an item this week and the following week I would ask her if we would need same thing, her usual answer “Lanre where is your mind, but we paid for this last week”

I would say “sorry about that” then try to bring up a new topic, while I thought she moved on too, lailai, she did not, she was filling up my cup, my cup was getting filled up in bits, and there was no way I would continue like that and my cup would not run over one day, and yes it did

We were due to make another payment and the village people that were pushing me to get my overdue cutting-to-size pushed me again, so I asked “babe, have you paid for ……..” she would not let me finish this time when she fired back

“Have I paid like I am your mail woman right? you send the money then I walk the streets of Lagos looking for vendors, that’s the magic right? what exactly have you done for this wedding… please list it I am listening. Do you think you can just stay in your Abuja, and put the responsibility of two on me here in Lagos, and you won’t atleast pay attention, like you can’t even do the honour of paying attention…”

then she began to list all my sins, they were many, even I was shocked, like man, you are a big-time sinner. Every time I thought I was smart to cover a lapse, she recorded all plus extra, I knew she was right

I knew I needed to pay more attention to detail, it was not like she needed me in Lagos, she just wanted to know she was not running alone. So, I started doing a lot more, but she knew the trick, she had to keep me on the hot seat cos by default, I don’t take things seriously until the last minute. So every now and then I hear “so what exactly have you done for this wedding?” as days rolled by, and weeks rolled also, I began to have credible responses and when I knew the usual question was coming, I would say “calm down o I did this and that…….” Hahaha, most times I knew I was just behaving like an investment banker, those guys can sell a bakery to you and make you feel as if you just invested in the next google, or facebook, alaye, bobo

And vendors can over hype themselves, I remember a DJ we spoke too, he sent an invoice, wifey was like “eleyi o gbadun o, so he thinks I will give him what takes me a month to earn as salary to play music in one day, does he think we are joking here” That line of hers came up repeatedly during preparations, I was always laughing.  Baba Dj gave us a huge bill, I just told him that was way over our budget, I told him the budget and that no DJ would get above it, baba said he was a pro, and that he could not take the price, so I thanked him and wished him the best

Two weeks later, baba, came back, said he really wanted to work for us, he had reduced his price by 40%, I read the chat and ignored, he honestly was not talking to me, whoever was not speaking within the budget was not talking to us. Few more weeks after, baba came back “Sir, you did not even get back to me, okay, I want to do your price now” interestingly, we paid another DJ, a day before.  Sometimes, I think vendors should realize people are getting married not investing, and for folks with budget, it is either in or out, especially when we knew we were giving a fair price.

“Lanre, we need servers for food and drinks separately, that is how they do it…” I knew she was right, that I had seen it at several weddings also, I just did not see the need for it. Like, after serving the food, what will the servers be doing? Can’t they pick up drinks afterwards since we already paid for their service for a day. But then, these days, there is food vendor, drinks vendor, each with a set of servers, these people have blown weddings up

And on the Aso Ebi, I honestly had no input, if you liked the ladies outfits, give her full credit, she put in work for it, she imported them. In the process of preparing for the wedding, she found out how to import in bulk, called up manufacturers and dared it. You would never see her ladies aso ebi in the market, not before the wedding, perhaps after, I can not say, it was hers. We are already contemplating setting up an asoebi platform and turn it to a business, I hope she sets it up in on time, but if you are reading this and you want a unique Aso Ebi plug for your next gig, perhaps say hi to wifey, she wont be helping you though, it will be strictly business. Ehn na-

She knows I like smart things like if you have got the shape, flaunt it, iyalaya anybody, So she knew a ball wedding gown was out of the options, at a point we started considering ball gowns though when bills became scary and balls gowns were cheaper. Bills like 750k, 500k, 250k, one vendor charges 20k hour/day can’t remember per consulting. So if a bride wants to discuss her wedding gown options with her, even the discussion is paid for, they are big brands, sometimes we sef dey do pass ourselves sha.  Well, we got a perfect fit and we were both happy. For my wedding jacket, we had concluded way before on the colour of my jacket, what I didn’t know was that the white was not just white, and she did not rest until the designer got her specific type of white, on detail, she can be a witch, a proper witch to a vendor till the vendor gets what she wants.

Oh, I should say wifey can be vain too sha, she did not go for her final wedding gown fitting till days to the wedding, she said she could not risk getting too fat nor too slim for the gown, it had to be a proper fit

I must also not forget the small deceptions, like when wifey told me we would use two outfits for our pre wedding photoshoot, we ended up with four, and she used a period I had sinned to pay for the outfits, a period I could not really object. And when the pictures came out, I could not be angry, and I think she deserved all the credit plus the vendors, they had all the shots mapped out, I was just the guy being told what to do, when and where to do it. I also think the universe shaped up for us, like using the beach for free, and a couple of other things we could have paid for that just got sorted.

In all, we had fun during the preparations, and yeah, it was also the period we had most arguments. lol

Watch this space for part two

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About Me

My life’s journey is that of many parts, every day I try to bring all the parts to an agreement, but I am yet to succeed at that, or maybe I shouldn’t even be trying to do it, I really don’t know yet- but while at it, I try to find how each part makes me better, and how each part can make the society better

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